Why am I depressed now?

So I have been out of work since March but now that I will be starting my new "fabulous" job in a few days -- I am on edge & really for lack of better terms "bitchy, tired & blah". If I didn't know better I would think I was pregnant but since I had the ol' tubes tide in 2003 I am thinking NO WAY JOSE on that one.

So, my latest thoughts have been why am I feeling this way? Nerves? I can go with that for part of my feelings but for the most part I just want to stay alone -- which triggers the depression alert in my mind -- but why now after all this time am I going to feel this way? Is it possibly b/c I wouldn't let myself feel before b/c I knew that was what was going to happen & now I have let my guard down?

Let me know thoughts!

Take care!

So this is my last week of unemployment.

I GOT A JOB!!!

Not only did I get a job --- but after 6 months of searching and interviewing -- I am going to be making A LOT more then I have ever made before.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON -- I don't like bumper stickers but if I had one that is what it would say. I didn't have many interviews over the past 6 months but when I let the sky-rise I knew that I had this one in the bag. They even offered me more than my asking spread (Generally 5K spread)! Can you believe it? Makes me realize I will be making much more if I can make this work.

One problem, I might have elaborated my expertise w/ excell... I know there is excel for dummies but is there a tutorial libraries offer? I can manage my way around but don't ask me about the formulas b/c I can NOT remember how to do that...

A camping I will go...

I am excited to go camping this week. We are leaving Wednesday for the Iron Range!

To be honest I have never really camped before. Yeah, I have done the over night thing in high school but there wasn't any sleeping involved more like spending the night outside drinking heavily. I am nervous about being outside for 4 nights. I don't handle humidity well so I am hoping if it is going to be hot that it won't be humid.

The Enforcer & my 2 year anniversary is Tuesday -- his gift is my agreeing to go along on this camping trip. I have made it perfectly clear that it should NOT be considered my gift!

So does anyone have any ideas on fun things to do while camping? We are bringing the 4wheeler & I am thinking books & magazines will entertain me for a couple days.

Good News

I was doing a little grocery shopping this afternoon -- my only ligitimate reason to leave the house these days -- & I received a phone call to set up an interview on Wednesday morning!!!

About time! I was getting a little depressed here.

So the job is for a position in my kids' school district close which is great b/c then I won't have to spend as much money on gas as I did before and the commute will be fabulous.

So all you bloggers cross your fingers for me -- I will keep you posted!

update

I have submitted countless resumes & completed numerous online applications. I have had one interview. :(



I have never had a problem finding a job before -- it is a little frustrating to say the least.



Enough about that.



So last week Thursday the Enforcer, the kids & I ventured to Colorado. We made a stop in Aberdaber to borrow my mom's car since it gets better gas mileage than the Durango. We left Aberdaber about 7am Friday and arrived in Ft. Collins, Co about 7pm.

The ex met us at the Denver airport Saturday morning about 7:15am where I said good-bye to my kiddies for the summer. There where no tears for them but there were for me. They will be in Cali until mid August.

The Enforcer & I went back to my friend's house took a nap then went to Rocky Mtn. National Park for the rest of the day. It is truly beautiful -- I wish that I could move to Co.

Sunday was by far & away the best day I have had in a long time. The Enforcer & I went white water rafting just north of Ft. Collins -- it was AWESOME! This was the first time to try this for both of us & we are hooked -- already researching where to go next.

Monday mid-morning we left and arrived in Aberdaber around midnight. Arrived home at dinner time on Tuesday.

So here is the question -- can anyone guess how much I spent on gas?
breakdown -
260 miles from home to Aberdaber
about 700 miles from Aberdaber to Ft. Collins

Lets just say I could have probably paid for them to fly all the way to Cali for what I paid -- however, I would have missed the rafting which was totally worth it.

So -- let me tell you I have found out quickly that being broke & bored is not an easy problem to solve.

Any ideas of things to do besides cleaning the house or doing yard work?

It has been awhile...

So, let me tell you how the past few days have been for me.

I got to work about 9am on Friday morning. Was pretty busy, heard through the grapevine the boss was calling people in to tell them what % they were getting for a raise. I was leaving early at 1pm to take the dog to show & tell @ my kids school so I was busting my a** to get everything done I needed to before I left.

My boss approached my cubicle about 12:30 and asked me to come into her office. I am thinking sweet, I hope my raise is good. I enter her office and a woman from HR is in there- confused? me too! I sit down and low and behold - cut backs in the department & guess who is one of the lucky few that get to go? You guessed it - ME! They generously offered 1 week of severance pay - whoo-hoo!

Needless to say - I drank heavily on Friday night. Hung around the house for most of Saturday (took the boys to "Horton Hears a Who" - not recommended unless you need a nap)& Sunday & then last night (St. Patty's day) went out & drank waaaaay tooo much!!! The enforcer was not impressed with my ability to pray to the porcelain goddess for quite some time.

I have figured out I will approximately bring home in "bacon" (between unemployment & child support) $2200 a month. Not bad - for not doing anything.

I have been thinking about not "actively" looking for a job until mid-summer. However, I am NOT cut out for this stay @ home mom stuff.

So my dilema at hand is - do I join the work force right away or do I hang out and "look" occasionaly?

What would you do?

Off to UC I went

So last night I had to take the youngest to Urgent Care. He is some what of a hypochondriac so I usually don’t take him to the doctor.

Anyway, his daycare called me at work yesterday and said he hadn’t eaten all day & just wanted to sleep. Poor thing.

So off to UC we went. Of course since we live in Tim Buck Two, I have to drive 25 minutes to get to the closest UC.

We arrive and I was pleasantly surprised that there was NO ONE in the waiting room! Score! We got to see the “doctor”, who was really a PA, right away. I think his name was Greg. Anywho, the youngest has an ear infection and a “very red throat” but the strep test was negative. Bonus – b/c otherwise the Enforcer, Reporter, Wrestler & myself would have to get the strep test too!

As Greg, the PA, wrote the prescription he told me to make sure to have him gargle with warm salt water. He looked up at me after he said that & saw my “are you f**king kidding me” look on my face. Greg then realized that maybe a 4 year old wasn’t going to be able to do that. Ya think??? Greg then advised to just have him drink “really cold drinks” to ease his sore throat. Duh, did I just pay for this?

We left UC and proceeded to the pharmacy to file the Rx for the youngest. While waiting I realized no one had eaten dinner. Crap! So I left the drug store & ran to the grocery store. Thank goodness the Reporter had requested to come along to UC (I am sure to add a chapter to his never ending story on my life) so I made the kiddies stay in the car while I ran in. Hot dogs & brats on the good ol George is what my decision was.
Say it with me – YUCK!

Finally, I got home about 7:45 made “dinner” which only 3 of us ate. I ended up making PB&J sandwiches for the Wrestler & the Youngest.

And with that came the close of another busy day in the life of an “old” 30 year old!

New hobby

Fun new hobby of mine – *B*I*N*G*O* and Bingo was his namo.

I know some of you (if anyone is even reading this) are asking yourself “Isn’t that for old folks”. We are NOT talking about Serious Bingo here -- I play Bar Bingo.

Here is what you do:
Find a local bar (I prefer the Legion in Mound) that has Bar Bingo, arrive a few minutes before the scheduled start time with about $25, this should cover your bingo games and drinks. You pay $1 at the bar and you get a card with 3 different games on it. The “pot” that you can win depends on how many people are playing. There are anywhere from 9 to 15 games generally.

I am definitely one of the youngest people there but I have confidence that with my blog I can convert others to play Bar Bingo! There is nothing like sitting around with a purple (my favorite color – but there are other colors) dobber and shouting BINGO while sipping on a cocktail or beer.

You may wonder what the difference between Serious Bing and Bar Bingo is. I will give if you the definition that the bartender Bobbi at the VFW in Mound gave me:

Serious Bingo – if you talk they will throw their dobber at you.

Bar Bingo – is something fun to do while you have a drink or two.

I will be honest, I have only won once. I have brought the Enforcer a few times and he has won ever time I have brought him. My luck has to change soon!

So get out there bloggers & non-bloggers and be sure to shout BINGO loud and proud!

Until next time!

I'm gonna win!!

My latest obsession – entering sweepstakes. I did a little researching and have found the following websites.

http://eprize.com/Portfolio/Live.aspx?sec=1

&

http://www.online-sweepstakes.com/


I really like both of these. At first I told myself this is ridiculous, you are not going to win anything (as of today I have won nothing) but then I thought – hey someone has to win, why not me?

So if you are wondering what I am doing at work for most of the morning, now you know.

Keep your fingers crossed for me & hope I win lots of freebies, prizes & trips!

Until next time…

Runaway

Today’s topic – the long awaited rant about my ex-husband who I will affectionately refer to as “runaway”.

Let me give you a little insight on why things ended with runaway. Runaway is a brilliant man with many get quick rich ideas but lacked the motivation to really pursue any of them. We moved here to MN from SD in September of 2003. I was 6 months pregnant with the youngest and willingly moved here under the assumption that I would be able to be a stay at home mom until the youngest was at least 6 months old. Two weeks after moving here, runaway quit his job because he “wasn’t making enough money”. He then informed me because of my background in insurance that I could make more money than him and I should go back to work. So I went job hunting hiding the fact that I was pregnant from all interviewers. I landed a job within 2 days of sending out my resume. I was raised to do what you have to do to help your family so at that point in my life I was ok with it.

I gave birth to the youngest at the end of December of 2003. I stayed home for a total of 2 weeks before returning to work. I was bitter to say the least because I had my tubes tied so I knew it would be the last time I would get to enjoy having a brand new baby and all the enjoyment that comes with that. I think that was the beginning of the end for me.

Time went by, runaway and I didn’t ever really do anything together. I would go out with my friends from work, occasionally inviting him if other spouses were coming along. Slowly but surely resentment started building.

Runaway was a terrific father but the “stay at home” part which to me meant cooking, cleaning and doing laundry was not his strong suit. I did the laundry and cleaning while he did the majority of the cooking.

In the spring of 2006 I sought out his father and brother for help with getting him motivated. Both spoke with him but to no avail. I told both of them that if he didn’t have a “real” job by August I was leaving him. Things happened at the end of June to show me that there was never going to be a “real” job – the dreamer in runaway was too strong. I left him officially the first week in July. I admittedly could have handled it better but hindsight, like they say, is always 20/20.

After I left him, he decided to go visit his brother in CA to get away from me. That was the beginning of September of 2006 – he has been back to MN a total of 3 times since then. The boys have been to CA 2 times since then.

Overall, runaway & I have a pretty good relationship now. Like all ex-spouses we don’t always see eye to eye. Our two main arguments, child support & him living so far away he doesn’t really have to “parent” the kids. I will leave those topics for another day.

Until next time - have a great weekend!

A DAY IN MY LIFE

So I will be rambling on today, bare with me bloggers & non-bloggers, you may learn something.

So what is it like to be a mom of 3 boys at the age of 30 you may ask – let me tell you a little bit about my average day.

• I am woken up by one of the 3 rugrats about 7am (usually the youngest) by him yelling at one of his older brothers (the reporter & the wrestler) or him bringing the dog into my room. I prefer to wake up to the dog but that is another story. I set the alarm each night, I don’t even know why anymore.
• Get up and hope I have enough time to take a shower after throwing clothes at the youngest one while telling him we are running late, get dressed & go brush your teeth. Typically yelling at the wrestler not to wear the same clothes as he did the day before and to brush his teeth before he leaves for school. I then rush to get ready – usually leaving the house w/o make-up on.
• Stop at SA to get a diet coke & smokes – the youngest usually gets a chocolate donut (real healthy) & some sort of juice.
• Speed to daycare – try not to wreck the transmission by slamming it into park as I am getting out of the car to run the youngest up to the door. I then run back to the car (I don’t recommend this in heals on ice) to proceed to work.
• I have my first 15 minutes of alone time I get a day driving from the daycare to work – I savor the time. Somehow, I don’t end up at work until 9 or after. I think it annoys my boss but she doesn’t say anything.
• I hang out at work for the day, playing on the internet and trying to get work done in between websites that I visit daily. My job is pretty slack for about ¾ of the year. The other ¼ I am lucky if I get to take a lunch break & rarely see the kids before they go to bed.
• About 4pm the older two get home from school and will call me to tattle on each other & ask if they can play on the computer or the PS2. From 4 till I leave I generally get 3 -5 calls.
• I leave work generally about 4:45pm – (I am salary so I technically don’t “have” to work 40hrs a week). I try to savor the 15 minute drive back to daycare it is generally interrupted by phone calls on my cell phone with the reporter at home reporting all of the drama happening at my house. When I arrive at daycare I leisurely walk up to the house & pick him up.
• Once in the car, I find out what kind of mood he has chosen to be in for the evening – either my little angel or the devil reincarnated. Usually the later. So I enjoy my ride home with him either singing or kicking my seat screaming at me.
• As I walk in the door and the reporter gives me the DL on what has happened all day from the bus stop to how the wrestler has been doing WWE moves off the furniture and whatever else he can be blamed for.
• Pick up the house while listening to all the boys “playing” with each other – it sounds like yelling to me but whatever.
• I end up in the kitchen trying to figure out what to make for dinner. When I serve whatever I decided to make I have at least one person complain – usually the youngest or the wrestler. I clean up after dinner and then sit down to watch TV or read a magazine. (this is usually about 7 or 7:30)
• The wrestler fights with almost everyone each night so I am the referee. I usually charge him with fouls and send him to bed early which results in him assaulting me as the referee verbally – I then call in the enforcer to help me reign wrestler into bed.
• 8:30 is bed time for the boys – reporter & wrestler try to negotiate 8:45 of 9:00 bedtime. Sometimes I give in depending on how tired I am. I tuck in the youngest in the bottom bunk and usually threaten the wrestler who is in the top bunk not to come out of the room. The reporter goes to his room and reads then goes to sleep.
• About 9 the drama at the house has quieted and the enforcer & I enjoy some time with each other watching TV or talking. We head to bed about 10:30 – knowing the next day I get to repeat the whole thing again.
  
  
  Now you know a little bit about my life as a single mom of three boys.
  Reporter =11
  Wrestler = 7 (8 in April)
  Youngest = 4

Glad to be healthy

I’m back!

So it was a rough past week at my house with sick kids and them myself getting sick. It really is a chore trying to get vomit out of off white carpet – not to mention the smell that just lingers for days. Ok, I am sure no one wants to hear more about that so I will move on…

Today’s topic is parent – teacher conferences.

Yes, the dreaded conferences have loomed upon me and I have both scheduled for Friday afternoon (hey, at least I get to take some time off of work).
My oldest son, Sam, is great at home & school so I am not worried about him. Things come pretty easy for him.
My worry is my middle son, Thomas, (grrrrrr is what I am thinking right now) is the typical middle child, defiant and very “challenging”. He behaves himself at school but at home is a nightmare – I mean that. He loves WWE and tried to tackle me by jumping off the top of the stairs on my when I walked by because he was mad at me. Maybe it is split personality, he is the devil and then there are glimpses of this great boy that I know he can be.

Oh, the joys of parenting. Cross your fingers for me that Friday goes better than expected.

Are you ready for a vacation too?

I have decided that today’s topic is where to go on a much needed vacation. It seems everyone is going on one except me. Frustrating, to say the least. My three boys just came back from visiting their Dad in California.

Currently, my skin is so pale that I don’t even think I can go with my standard description of “porcelain white” it is just down right pastey. I need some sun and since I live in the tundra of Minnesota that won’t be happening anytime soon.

So I’ve been asking myself the question – Where should I go on vacation? There are many issues to consider. First and foremost where to go, then there is how much money am I will to spend, I currently do not have a passport, do I bring the kids, do I go with friends, do I go alone with my bf? All good questions, the problem is I don’t even know where to start.

Obviously, I want to go some place warm. Which leads me to think of Florida – if I go there I should bring the kids so we could do all the fun “family” things. If I do bring the rugrats, the price goes up significantly. Airfare alone for the four of us would be substantial. Driving eats up so much time and with the gas prices it is also spendy (yes, I am originally from SD so I can use that word). What to do…

Part of me says, just wait – it will be warm before you know it. I keep trying to envision this but it is hard when it is only 10 degrees outside.

What would you do???

Virgin Blogger

So, after seeing my old friend Brooke’s blog today and stalking poor Tenille through her blog for the past few weeks, I decided it was high time that I, too, should try my hand at blogging.

I am not quite sure who will want to read what I have to say but what the heck…

I hope you will find my blog amusing if not useful.

With that, here it is – my first blog!

Stay tuned for more confessions of an ex-wife.