Runaway

Today’s topic – the long awaited rant about my ex-husband who I will affectionately refer to as “runaway”.

Let me give you a little insight on why things ended with runaway. Runaway is a brilliant man with many get quick rich ideas but lacked the motivation to really pursue any of them. We moved here to MN from SD in September of 2003. I was 6 months pregnant with the youngest and willingly moved here under the assumption that I would be able to be a stay at home mom until the youngest was at least 6 months old. Two weeks after moving here, runaway quit his job because he “wasn’t making enough money”. He then informed me because of my background in insurance that I could make more money than him and I should go back to work. So I went job hunting hiding the fact that I was pregnant from all interviewers. I landed a job within 2 days of sending out my resume. I was raised to do what you have to do to help your family so at that point in my life I was ok with it.

I gave birth to the youngest at the end of December of 2003. I stayed home for a total of 2 weeks before returning to work. I was bitter to say the least because I had my tubes tied so I knew it would be the last time I would get to enjoy having a brand new baby and all the enjoyment that comes with that. I think that was the beginning of the end for me.

Time went by, runaway and I didn’t ever really do anything together. I would go out with my friends from work, occasionally inviting him if other spouses were coming along. Slowly but surely resentment started building.

Runaway was a terrific father but the “stay at home” part which to me meant cooking, cleaning and doing laundry was not his strong suit. I did the laundry and cleaning while he did the majority of the cooking.

In the spring of 2006 I sought out his father and brother for help with getting him motivated. Both spoke with him but to no avail. I told both of them that if he didn’t have a “real” job by August I was leaving him. Things happened at the end of June to show me that there was never going to be a “real” job – the dreamer in runaway was too strong. I left him officially the first week in July. I admittedly could have handled it better but hindsight, like they say, is always 20/20.

After I left him, he decided to go visit his brother in CA to get away from me. That was the beginning of September of 2006 – he has been back to MN a total of 3 times since then. The boys have been to CA 2 times since then.

Overall, runaway & I have a pretty good relationship now. Like all ex-spouses we don’t always see eye to eye. Our two main arguments, child support & him living so far away he doesn’t really have to “parent” the kids. I will leave those topics for another day.

Until next time - have a great weekend!